Wednesday, May 28, 2008

The Koala and the Little Lizard




A koala is sitting up a gum tree smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past, looks up and says...Halo Koala!!! what ya doing there?


The koala says: Smoking a joint, come up and have some."

So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and they have a few joints. After a while the little lizard says his mouth is "dry" and is going to get a drink from the river. But the little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river. A crocodile sees this and swim over to the little lizard and helps him to the side, then asks.....




Little lizard: What's the matter with you?

The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.




The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the rain forest, finds the tree where the koala is sitting finishing a joint, and he looks up and says "Hey you!"

So the koala looks down at him and says:


"Fuuuu -k dude.......how much water did you drink?!!"

Monday, May 19, 2008

Marriage life before and after

ATT000301

Before marriage.
Darling here.. darling there...
After marriage.
Baling here... baling there..

ATT000332

Before marriage.
I die for you. . .
After marriage.
'You die, up to you. '
Lagi lama married.
You die I help you!


ATT000363

Before marriage.
You go anywhere. . I follow you.
After marriage. .
You go anywhere. . up to you .
Lagi lama married.
You go anywhere better get lost!


ATT000332


Before wedding
you are my heart, you are my love'
After wedding
'you get on my nerves.


ATT000425


Before wedding
'you are sweet and kind just like Cinderella'
After wedding
'you are worse than godzila'


ATT000456


Before wedding
Roses are red, violets are blue. Like it or not, I'm stuck with you
After wedding
Roses are dead, I am blue. You get on my head, I will sue you


ATT000363


Before wedding
Every makan he brings you to Shangri-La
After wedding
You want to go, he says you wait-la


ATT000425


Before wedding
She looks like Anita Sarawak
After wedding
Don't know whether katak or biawak




Muahahahahaha!!!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Beijing Olympics 2008




Beijing Summer Olympics 2008 is less than 100 days to go. I love to be there to watch the opening ceremony and the sports there. To be at the Olympics is one of the greatest dream for me. It is a great experience. Beside sports, it is nice to be greeted by all these girls there! Anyone want to sponsor me? Make my dream come true-lah.











Saturday, May 03, 2008

Air India

Surinder Singh's uncle was booked into an Air India flight to Bombay. But as this was his first time in an air plane, he made a few preparation that were out of place. When the stewardess came around to take orders for the in-flight meal, the uncle declared loudly, 'I have brought my own lunch. Make sure you don't charge me for food and drinks!'

So, as everybody was given their in-flight meal, the uncle began spreading out his own home-cooked meal. The man sitting next to him was an American history researcher and was curious about the food. 'Excuse me, what is that drink?' he asked.

The uncle picked up the yogurt-based lassi drink and said, 'Milk of India ! Then the uncle took out several pieces of chappatis and started feasting.


And what is that dish?' asked the curious American. 'Wheat of India! replied the uncle proudly. Finally, the uncle took out some desserts. He offered some to the
American. What is it?' asked the American. 'Sweets of India! replied the old man.


After the meal, everyone was settling down when there was a loud .....'pooooooooot!' sound from the uncle.

What was that?' asked the American, holding his nose in disgust.

The old man replied coolly, 'That's Air India ..'